Are You Here
Film Review by Kam Williams
Owen Wilson and Zach Galifianakis Return to Roots in Irreverent Buddy Comedy
Sometimes you can appreciate what a movie might have been shooting for, even though the final cut falls far short of the mark. Such is the case with Are You Here, a cringe-inducing buddy comedy co-starring Owen Wilson and Zach Galifianakis.
The movie marks the eagerly-anticipated directorial debut of nine-time, Emmy-winner Matthew Weiner who fails in his first attempt to find the same magic which served him so well writing scripts for both Mad Men and The Sopranos. Unfortunately, something ostensibly got lost in the translation from TV to the big screen, as this picture proves to be an annoying test of patience.
The problem probably emanates from the ill-advised pairing of the wry Wilson and goofy Galifianakis, whose personas mix about as well as oil and water. Sorry, Weiner doesn’t get any extra credit for effort for crafting an ambitious adventure that bites off more than it could chew cinematically, since all that matters to an audience is execution.
And while Are You Here revolves around an intriguing enough premise and features plenty of surprising twists, the comedy portion of the production simply flunks the “Make me laugh” test. At the point of departure, we’re introduced to roommates/BFFs Ben Baker (Galifianakis) and Steve Dallas (Wilson). The former is an infantile eccentric incapable of functioning in society, while the latter is a stoner and popular TV weatherman for a local network.
When Ben’s dad dies, the two decide to drive the thousand miles back to their idyllic hometown in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, where the recently deceased has left behind property worth millions of dollars. Also showing up for the funeral is Ben’s only sibling, Terry (Amy Poehler), a greedy shrew who clearly expects to inherit half of her father’s estate.
At the reading of the will, however, she learns that the old man only left her $350,000, and cut his trophy second-wife, Angela (Laura Ramsey), out of the will entirely, with the bulk of his cash plus a grocery store and 144-acre farm going to Ben. But her brother’s so dysfunctional, there’s no way he’d ever be able to manage the family businesses, given such bizarre behavior as visiting their Amish neighbors in his birthday suit.
Based on the scenario I’ve just described, one would naturally expect the tension to build around a fight over the inheritance. However, writer/director Weiner earns high marks for creativity in that regard, as he’s fashioned a novel plot that’s hard to predict.
Rather than spoil any of the subsequent developments, suffice to say that its unique storyline can’t save a picture that breaks a cardinal rule of comedy by failing to be funny. Have Wilson, Galifianakis and Poehler ever been better? Gosh, I certainly hope so.
Fair (1 star)
Rated R for sexuality, nudity, profanity and drug use
Running time: 114 minutes
Distributor: Millennium Entertainment
To see a trailer for Are You Here, visit:
Police State U.S.A.
How Orwell’s Nightmare Is Becoming Our Reality
by Cheryl K. Chumley
Book Review by Kam Williams
WND Books
Hardcover, $26.95
288 pages
ISBN: 978-1-936488-14-8
“People have liberty; people take their liberty for granted; people become apathetic; people lose their liberty. We are on that track, but detouring back to the freedom road is still possible…
The data in this book concerns me and should concern you… The coming signs of tyranny are all around us. Fortunately, they can be stopped before it is too late, but not without a courageous effort… We can still save liberty for our children if, and only if, America awakens.”
-- Excerpted from the Foreword (pages xi-xii)
Anybody tuning in to the media coverage of the daily protests of the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri can’t help but notice the intimidating police presence that makes the city look more like a battlefield than a suburban enclave. The frightening militarization has featured everything from armored Humvees and tanks rolling down the streets, to helmeted officers flanked shoulder-to-shoulder behind body-length armored shields, to snipers in camouflage fatigues training their M16 rifles on marchers through night-vision scopes, to the use of teargas, rubber bullets, smoke bombs and flash grenades to disperse demonstrators.
What are we to make of such a disturbing show of force on the part of local, state and federal authorities? To Cheryl K. Chumley it is merely further evidence of a burgeoning abuse of power on the part of a government already hell bent on trampling its citizens’ Constitutional rights.
In her book, Police State U.S.A.: How Orwell’s Nightmare Is Becoming Our Reality, the veteran journalist indicts present-day America as a “total surveillance society.” She argues that tyrannical rule has come as a consequence of the Patriot Act’s creation of secret data collection centers and the employment of the IRS, NSA phone taps, drones, tracking devices, warrantless searches, traffic light cameras and the like to nefarious ends.
For example, the author cites the case of Scottsdale, Arizona, whose city council approved the purchase of a building to house its police investigative unit, “but refused to disclose the facility’s location” in order to “protect the lives” of detectives working undercover. She says it’s certifiably scary, when the nation has arrived at a point where taxpayers are no longer privy to such previously public information.
In a timely chapter devoted to “The Rise of Militarized Police,” Ms. Chumley states that the technology cops now have at their disposal “is the stuff of science fiction,” like guns that fire darts embedded with a GPS. Though such draconian measures should supposedly be of no concern to the law-abiding, it’s still of little comfort when you think of the seemingly neverending state of siege for folks in Ferguson trying to exercise their First Amendment rights.
Food for thought for anyone who fervently believes our inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness comes from God, not the government.
Damon Wayans, Jr.
The “Let’s Be Cops” Interview
with Kam Williams
Damon Wayans, Jr. is a member of the famed Wayans family, creators of the groundbreaking television series In Living Color, the Scary Movie franchise, and much more. Damon made his film debut in Blankman, a superhero comedy that starred his father. He also appeared in his dad’s television series My Wife and Kids before striking out on his own as a stand-up comic on Def Comedy Jam.
Damon subsequently made such movies as Dance Flick, Marmaduke, Someone Marry Barry, and The Other Guys. More recently, he has starred on the TV sitcoms Happy Endings and New Girl. Here, he talks about his new film, Let’s Be Cops, where he co-stars opposite Jake Johnson, a fellow cast member on New Girl.
Kam Williams: Hey Damon, how’re you doing?
Damon Wayans, Jr.: Kam-tastic!
KW: Thanks for the time, bro. What interested you in Let’s Be Cops?
DW: I guess it was the concept which was similar to a buddy cop comedy, except they’re not cops. So, it’s sort of a fresh take on the idea. I was actually a little curious about why it hadn’t been done before, but I was definitely interested, especially once I heard that Jake Johnson was in the mix. We get along really well and make each other laugh a lot. So, I was like, “If you do it, I’ll do it.” And that’s how we got involved in the project.
KW: Attorney Bernadette Beekman asks: Did you do your own stunts and dancing? Did you shadow a real cop to prepare for the role?
DW: I did not shadow a real cop to prepare for the role because in the movie we‘re pretending to pretend to be cops. Basically, any mistakes that I would make as an ordinary citizen were encouraged. So, I never needed to shadow a cop to try to look like a cop. And yes, I did most of my own stunts, and when it came time for the dance moves I even did my own back flip. But when it came to really dangerous stunts, like breaking the glass table with my back when the lady throws me, that wasn’t me, but a stuntman named Reggie.
KW: Kate Newell says: It's great seeing you on New Girl. Is there much improv happening on the set?
DW: They allow it, yeah. After they get their takes in, they kinda allow us to do anything we want. It’s fun working in that environment with people I like. I went to high school with Zooey [Deschanel]. We know each other really well.
KW: Talking about TV shows, I recently read that In Living Color might be coming back to TV.
DW: Really? That’s cool to hear if it’s true. I know that they tried to revive it a year or so ago, but it didn’t really pan out.
KW: Harriet Pakula-Teweles says: You have experience on both the big and small screen. Which might be a better fit for your performance style?
DW: I don’t really know. That depends on how Let’s Be Cops does at the box office. If it tanks, I guess TV is better for me. [LOL] I feel like I can do both. I think of the small screen as my 9-to-5 job and of the big screen as projects that you fit in between.
KW: How hard is it hailing from such a talented and famous family?
DW: It’s not really hard. They’ve encouraged me the whole way, since we see a win for any one of us as a win for all. So, if I’m doing good work, and they approve of it, I’m happy.
KW: Your dad has a reputation for being a bit of a disciplinarian. Is that rumor true or false?
DW: It’s true. He was definitely a disciplinarian, when we were growing up. It was almost as if he went off to play Major Payne in the movie, and stayed in character after he got back. He would make us do sit-ups, push-ups and jumping jacks every morning when we woke up. If we got anything below a B grade, he would shave our heads and make us wear a suit to school. He’s a pretty intense guy. [Chuckles]
KW: You wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve interviewed over the years have told me they broke into show business with the help of one of the Wayans.
DW: That’s awesome. I guess the Wayans gave me my first break, too.
KW: Editor/Legist Patricia Turnier asks: Which scene in Let’s Be Cops was the most fun to shoot?
DW: [Laughs] It’s hard to pick just one. The ones with Jake, Rob Riggle and Nina Dobrev were all fun. And Keegan-Michael Key from Key and Peele was hilarious. I’d say any scene that made me laugh or break character in the middle of it. I just had a blast the whole way through.
KW: Patricia is also wondering what teacher or mentor played an important role in your professional path?
DW: My two greatest influences were my dad, and my martial arts teacher, Mark Mikita.
KW: Finally, Patricia says: You’ve written scripts for TV. Are you interested in writing for the big screen?
DW: Absolutely! One of my dreams is to be able to what the big boys, the Seth Rogens and the Jonah Hills as able to do, get my own projects greenlit, shot and do well at the box office like. That’s kind of my ultimate goal.
KW: Is there any question no one ever asks you, that you wish someone would?
DW: [LOL] No, I don’t think so.
KW: The Teri Emerson question: When was the last time you had a good laugh?
DW: About five minutes ago.
KW: What is your guiltiest pleasure?
DW: That reality-TV show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. I always want to eat that food whenever I watch it.
KW: The bookworm Troy Johnson question: What was the last book you read?
DW: I read a lot of books. The last one was “Gone Girl,” a novel by Gillian Flynn.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0307588378/ref=nosim/thslfofire-20 That’s a really good book which has just been made into a movie by David Fincher. It’s coming out in October and stars Ben Affleck. And I’m reading the “The Bourne Retribution” right now. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1409149617/ref=nosim/thslfofire-20
KW: The music maven Heather Covington question: What was the last song you listened to?
DW: “Summer,” by Calvin Harris. I hear it everywhere. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00IZQ81C0/ref=nosim/thslfofire-20
KW: What is your favorite dish to cook?
DW: Here’s the thing, dude. I can’t really cook, but I make a mean Top Ramen. [Laughs]
KW: The Sanaa Lathan question: What excites you?
DW: Danger! I like to do daring things. I’ve bungee jumped three times. The only thing I haven’t tried is skydiving.
KW: The Uduak Oduok question: Who is your favorite clothes designer?
DW: I’m not really a clothes guy. I’d rather be naked.
KW: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
DW: My dad. [Chuckles] and I see a guy who’s pretty happy.
KW: If you could have one wish instantly granted, what would that be for?
DW: The power to fly, for sure.
KW: Let's say you’re throwing your dream dinner party—who’s invited… and what would you serve?
DW: I’d serve corn chowder bisque, and Jake [Johnson] would not be invited because he’s standing here bombing my interview. [To Jake] You’re not invited. I’d invite Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K, and all these people who make me laugh. I would sit at the head of the table and say, “Make me laugh or get out of my house.”
KW: The Ling-Ju Yen question: What is your earliest childhood memory?
DW: My uncles Shawn and Marlon bursting into the bathroom while I was pooping, throwing me off the toilet, and laughing at my turds. That really happened. They used to torture me. [Laughs]
KW: The Melissa Harris-Perry question:How did your first big heartbreak impact who you are as a person?
DW: I don’t think I’ve ever had my heart broken, because I’m a man. I laughed it off, and then went and had sex with about 16 women, all unprotected. [Chuckles]
KW: The Kerry Washington question: If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
DW: A dolphin.
KW: The Viola Davis question: What’s the biggest difference between who you are at home as opposed to the person we see on the red carpet?
DW: I smile and laugh a lot more when I’m at home.
KW: The Anthony Anderson question: If you could have a superpower, which one would you choose?
DW: The ability to make people’s heart stop, if I just point at them.
KW: The Judyth Piazza question: What key quality do you say all successful people share?
DW: Drive, and belief in themselves.
KW: The Harriet Pakula-Teweles question: With so many classic films being redone, is there a remake you'd like to star in?
DW: Weekend at Bernie’s.
KW: The Flex Alexander question: How do you get through the tough times?
DW: By crying a lot. [LOL]
KW: “Realtor to the Stars” Jimmy Bayan’s question: What is the dream locale where you’d like you live?
DW: Hawaii.
KW: What advice do you have for anyone who wants to follow in your footsteps?
DW: If you have the ability and want it bad enough, do it!
KW: Thanks again for the time, Damon, best of luck with Let’s Be Cops, and IO look forward to speaking with you again soon.
DW: Awesome, Kam, thanks!
To see a trailer for Let’s Be Cops, visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExciLtpHp74
Jersey Shore Massacre
Film Review by Kam Williams
When Teresa (Danielle Dallacco) and her girlfriends arrive at their rental house on the Jersey Shore, they’re shocked to learn that their sleazy stoner landlord (Ron Jeremy) already let someone else have the place for the weekend. Luckily, Teresa’s mobster Uncle Vito (Dominic Lucci) happens to have a summer home sitting empty in the nearby Pine Barrens, since he’s stuck in Staten Island under house arrest with an ankle bracelet.
After picking up five hot-looking guys on the beach, the six cute coeds get back into their convertible and make their way to a clearing in the godforsaken the forest. Turns out Uncle Vito has a pretty posh mansion with a built-in pool.
The bimbos slip into their bikinis and begin flirting with the buff boy-toys, blissfully unaware that a couple of Mafia hit men were just murdered in the same neck of the woods by a deranged maniac. If you’re familiar with high body-count slasher flicks, you have a good idea what’s in store for the unsuspecting revelers.
The killer soon starts picking them off one-by-one, dispatching each victim in very grisly fashion, whether that death be by baking in a tanning bed, by decapitating with a bicycle chain, by stabbing in a shower Psycho-style, by whipping, hanging, wood chipper, or run through by sword. Much of the violence is highly eroticized ostensibly to satiate the bloodlust of fans who like their slaughter with a little titillation on the side.
Written and directed by Paul Tarnopol, Jersey Shore Massacre is a gruesome horror flick not for the faint of heart. And the picture also paints a pretty pathetic picture of Italian-Americans, since the principal players are the sort of vapid, vain characters featured on the reality-TV series Jersey Shore.
While the film fails to break any new ground in terms of the splatterflick genre, it’s still entertaining enough to recommend, provided you have a strong stomach for vivisection and Italian stereotypes.
Good (2 stars)
Rated R for sexuality, nudity, profanity, drug use, ethnic and homophobic slurs, and graphic violence
Running time: 88 minutes
Distributor: Attack Entertainment
To see a trailer for Jersey Shore Massacre, visit
Jersey Shore Massacre
Film Review by Kam Williams
Weekend Getaway Turns Gory in High Body-Count Slasher Flick
When Teresa (Danielle Dallacco) and her girlfriends arrive at their rental house on the Jersey Shore, they’re shocked to learn that their sleazy stoner landlord (Ron Jeremy) already let someone else have the place for the weekend. Luckily, Teresa’s mobster Uncle Vito (Dominic Lucci) happens to have a summer home sitting empty in the nearby Pine Barrens, since he’s stuck in Staten Island under house arrest with an ankle bracelet.
After picking up five hot-looking guys on the beach, the six cute coeds get back into their convertible and make their way to a clearing in the godforsaken the forest. Turns out Uncle Vito has a pretty posh mansion with a built-in pool.
The bimbos slip into their bikinis and begin flirting with the buff boy-toys, blissfully unaware that a couple of Mafia hit men were just murdered in the same neck of the woods by a deranged maniac. If you’re familiar with high body-count slasher flicks, you have a good idea what’s in store for the unsuspecting revelers.
The killer soon starts picking them off one-by-one, dispatching each victim in very grisly fashion, whether that death be by baking in a tanning bed, by decapitating with a bicycle chain, by stabbing in a shower Psycho-style, by whipping, hanging, wood chipper, or run through by sword. Much of the violence is highly eroticized ostensibly to satiate the bloodlust of fans who like their slaughter with a little titillation on the side.
Written and directed by Paul Tarnopol, Jersey Shore Massacre is a gruesome horror flick not for the faint of heart. And the picture also paints a pretty pathetic picture of Italian-Americans, since the principal players are the sort of vapid, vain characters featured on the reality-TV series Jersey Shore.
While the film fails to break any new ground in terms of the splatterflick genre, it’s still entertaining enough to recommend, provided you have a strong stomach for vivisection and Italian stereotypes.
ood (2 stars)
Rated R for sexuality, nudity, profanity, drug use, ethnic and homophobic slurs, and graphic violence
Running time: 88 minutes
Distributor: Attack Entertainment
To see a trailer for Jersey Shore Massacre, visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDcw8L_M3S4